When He Loves You but Doesn’t Want You

Nothing is better than finding someone that you connect with and falling in love with them. You probably love how he looks, the way that he lights up the room when he smiles and laughs and how he makes you feel.

He is fun to be with and he is everything that you ever wanted in your life. But then there is a problem. What if he doesn’t want you back?

Nothing is worse than loving someone that doesn’t love you back. This is something that you cannot understand because you feel that you are perfect for each other. You wonder why he doesn’t want you.

Before you get upset about yourself, here are some reasons he might not want you back:

He Doesn’t Want to be With Anyone

Some guys have a hard time committing. If he isn’t choosing you or anyone, you know that you aren’t the problem, but he is.

You need to decide to move on from him before you get too attached. If he doesn’t want to be with anyone, it can mean he isn’t in the right place in life or he has past relationships that were hard on him.

You can wait for him to want you, but you have to know that this may never happen. Even if you like him, you need to think of yourself and see if it is worth moving on or staying in it.

He Likes Casual

You might think you have fallen for the perfect guy but maybe he just wants to be casual with you. He likes you as a friend, but he doesn’t want things to be more serious. Maybe you and he are sleeping with each other, but he doesn’t want to date you.

Here are some things that you can look for:

  • Sometimes you feel that you are together and sometimes you don’t.
  • He is nice but he never wants to impress you.
  • He doesn’t want you to go meet his family.
  • He doesn’t ask you to go with his friends.
  • He doesn’t talk about relationships.

Do not give him the chances to mistreat you and go ahead and ask him what he wants. If he likes you, he will show jealousy if you talk to other guys. But if not, move on.

Not His Type

Sometimes we like people but they don’t like us the same. Maybe he doesn’t think that you can have a good future together. He might feel close to you but that you aren’t a match, and he might not be attracted to you.

Here are some reasons:

  • You are too clingy.
  • You don’t relax enough.
  • You have habits he doesn’t like.
  • You don’t share the same sense of humor.
  • You have money issues.
  • He is late and you are early.
  • He makes you feel insecure.

These things are things that we think we can work on but if you find out that he doesn’t seem interested, move on.


Chances are that you and he will share different values. This is one thing that will never work out. If you don’t share the same values, then you will have a hard time getting along with him in the long run.

Even if you think that you can avoid this or overlook it, the truth is that you will be miserable later in life. You will never be happy no matter how perfect you think he is.

Past Hurt

Guys that have been hurt in the past or in past relationships often do not want to date anymore. They have pain and they cannot trust someone to be with them.

You might show him how much he can trust you but deep down he is never going to get over the other person that did him wrong.

Things happen that make him know that it is him and he will tell you that it isn’t you but him. As much as you want him to see that you will not hurt him, he isn’t ready for that and he will want to distance you.

His Ex

If a guy is still into their ex, they will have a hard time being with you. He is not ready to move on and he is still holding his place for her to come back.

Maybe he hasn’t dated her for a long time, but he is still having a hard time getting over her.

Getting with him can make him realize that he misses his ex-even more. Here are some things that you can look for to see if he is still stuck to his ex:

  • He has pictures of her on his social media.
  • He has some of her things at his place.
  • He checks to see how she is doing.
  • He keeps picture of her at his house.

This is the kind of relationship that will end up hurting you in the end. Give him time to find out what he wants to do with his ex and if he is ready to move on.

You cannot make him get over those feelings and that is something he has to do on his one. If he gets over her and you still like him, then give it a chance.

Other Women

Maybe he is dating you and other women. He might have different girls that he texts, and he likes to hang out with. He might date on social media or through a dating app.

If this is happening, chances are that he is just using you and the other girls to have something to do. Be thankful that he doesn’t want to be with you and that you can see what is going on.

He Keeps You Around

If he keeps you around but he doesn’t want to be with you, you have to decide what you want. You can either move on from him or you can stay friends.

It doesn’t seem fair that he keeps you around when he doesn’t want to spend time with you in an intimate way or make you, his girlfriend.

Reasons He Keeps You

Here are some reasons he keeps you around:


He wants to have you there when he has a need for sex. He enjoys being physical with you, but he is not ready to commit.

It is fine to have sex with someone until you fall for them and they don’t feel the same. He is enjoying himself, but he is leading you on.

You have to decide what you want and if you are going to stick around with him or move on. Make sure you are clear with what you want, and you know exactly what he wants in return.


A guy that is lonely will want to keep you around if you are fun. He likes to hang out with you and spends time with you. Here are some things that you need to look out for:

  • He comes over when he is bored.
  • He asks you if you are free to hang out but doesn’t show you much interest.
  • He never shows you off to his friends.
  • He seems alone when he comes to you.

If he likes you then he would want to hang out with you more and commit to you. If you are up to just being friends, you need to be honest with yourself and accept that and separate your feelings.


Even though he wants to be around you or have sex with you, if he doesn’t take you out and do things with you then he doesn’t want to be with you.

On the other hand, some men will refuse to share you even if you aren’t together. If this happens, you need to make him commit to you or you need to set down your foot and tell him what you want.

If he is always enjoying your attention and not giving you what you want and need, how is that fair to you.

Let him choose what he wants and if he doesn’t want to go further, let him go.


Even if you aren’t together as lovers or partners, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to be friends with you. Chances are that you are his best friend, and he values you for that. He doesn’t want to let you go because he likes you but not in the way that you like him.

There is nothing wrong with being friends with him, but you just need to figure out where your feelings are going to be. Can you see him just as a friend or is it always going to upset you that there isn’t something more?

You could have someone that will be your friend forever if you can accept that it is all its going to be. Take time to be alone and think things through and see what you want in life. If you want to just be friends, do it.

Free Ride

Some guys will try to stay around you because you pay for everything and you give them a free ride. If this is happening for you, do not let it. Put your foot down and cut ties with him.

If he only wants you for money, he will not ever care about you. Here are things to look out for:

  • He calls you when he can’t afford something.
  • He forgets his wallet.
  • He lets you pay for most of the things you do.
  • He chooses to come around you instead of inviting you out.

This is someone that is using you and you need to leave him and not let this happen.


Some men do not get into relationships because they don’t know if they like you that way and they want to keep their options open.

If he stays close to you, he has a chance to be with you when he is ready and if he meets someone else, he will leave you and go with them.

Does this feel okay to you? If you are happy to wait and see what he feels, by all means keep going but if you feel that he is just stringing you on, let him go.

Is He Worth the Pain?

This kind of relationship can be painful, and you need to find out if he is worth the pain that you are feeling and are going to feel.

You need to pay attention to what you are feeling and decide if he is worth being with or if you should let him go and move on. There are many guys out there that would love to find someone that cares for them.


Do not let this guy hurt you and use you. If you are happy being friends and being there for someone that doesn’t feel the same, fine, but if you are sad or your feelings get hurt when he looks at other women or wants to go out with other people, then you need to do what you need to do to find your own happiness.

Do not let him control how you feel and make you feel that you are not worthy of love or you are not worthy to be with him.

Make him prove his worth to you or find someone else in your life that is going to love you and respect you the way that you want to be loved and respected.

No one is worth being with if they are just using you for money, sex, or just stringing you along so that they can see if something better comes in their life. Do what you can to better yourself and to find someone that you are meant to be with.

Work hard to be the best that you can be, and you will see that your life can be full of joy, peace, and happiness. Keep pushing until you find what you deserve in your life.

Relationship Saga

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