Start with one question. What keeps happening, how does it affect you and do you both want to change it? Choose a guide for the decision you are facing.
When the same conflict keeps returning
Describe one example and agree on a small change both of you can check.
When trust has been broken
Give yourself room to decide what information, space or support you need.
When you are deciding whether to stay
Consider what has changed, how freely you can speak and what continuing would ask of you.
If you feel unsafe
If there are threats, stalking, coercion or violence, you can seek private support before discussing changes together. A local domestic abuse service can help you think through options. In the United States, see The National Domestic Violence Hotline’s safety-planning resources.