Do you find that you are always attracted to people that are bad for you? Or do you find people that do not have the same ideas or beliefs that you have and your personalities clash but yet you are drawn to them?
Do you keep breaking up with your partner for the same reasons and you wonder why you keep falling in the same trap?
Sometimes we crave things that are not good for us and here are some reasons why:
Trauma
If you have had a traumatic upbringing or something bad happened to you when you were small, you might choose to live your life on the edge.
This might change the way that you think of a partner and it might cause you to seek out people that are bad for you.
Even though you are an adult, you might revert back to your childhood and do things to replace the things that happened when you were small. Maybe you are trying to get out of your feelings of being unworthy and you want to find someone that will make up for what you went through.
This can happen and cause people to get into toxic relationships. If your dad abused you, sometimes you will go to people that have abused you to date them. If you find this happening, figure out what your past has to do with it.
Needs
This person might come along and be able to fit your needs right away. They might allow you to escape from your reality and have fun at the moment.
Even if the relationship is toxic, maybe they make you excited. Your family might be putting pressure on you to find someone so instead of giving it time, you run to the first person that comes along, toxic or not.
Figure out why you are dating that person and what it means to be with them.
Media
The media can make us feel like love should look a certain way. Healthy relationships should be full of communication and other good things.
Stop letting the media control how you look at your relationship and do not think that all love is passionate and good.
True love should be about how someone treats you and how they show you how much they care about you. Do not think an unhealthy relationship is normal.
Fix Them
Some people want to be with someone because they think they can fix them. This person might be smart and attractive but maybe they are not who you want them to be. They might be a different religion than you are.
There are other things that you might choose to ignore such as habits that they have that are bad. Everyone has flaws but you have to look to see if these flaws are going to be issues for you in the future.
We often want to fix people that we are with or change them to be who we want them to be and this is not fair. This is not fair for you or for them.
Challenging
Sometimes we date people because we want a challenge. We want to see if we can get them and if we can make them fall in love with us.
Even if they have issues, we want to try and swoon them and make them fall in love with us.
What You Deserve
We often date people because we feel that we don’t deserve anything better. If you are with someone that is abusive, you might stay with them because you feel that you are lucky just to be with someone.
You might find out that they are hurtful and rude, but you might stay with them because you don’t want to be alone.
Enjoy being single until the right person comes along.
Your Worth
Chances are that when you date someone that is toxic that you are looking to feel worthy. You want someone to show you love and to make you feel better about who you are.
Do you need to feel that someone is interested in you so that you can validate who you are? Do not fall in this trap and look to things that make you feel better about who you are.
