Before you read this list of relationship questions, let’s clarify one thing. You don’t want to just bring this list along on your date to start an interrogation process. Instead, try gathering the answers to these questions through normal conversation.
In order to create healthy relationships, you must first learn the art of truly getting to know someone. Not assuming. Not guessing. Not hoping. And definitely not trying to turn a person into who you want them to become. This list of relationship questions is provided to help you foster good communication with your lover (or potential lover) from the very start. Ask, listen, clarify and observe.
Relationship Questions to Ask Your Lover (Days 0 – 30)
1. What are you seeking? Casual sex, a friend, short term fun, love?
2. What types of things do you enjoy?
3. How do you spend your free time?
4. What do you do for a living?
5. What is your idea of a perfect date?
6. What is your idea of a nightmare date?
7. What do you like about me?
8. What do you think are your best qualities?
9. What do you think are your worst qualities?
10. Do you have children?
11. Are you married? Currently involved a relationship?
12. Would you say you’re an introvert or extrovert?
13. What are the most important things in your life right now?
14. Do you drink, smoke or do drugs? How often? What type?
15. How long have you been single?
16. What is your favorite way to spend a Saturday night?
17. Early bird or night owl?
Relationship Questions to Ask Your Lover (Days 30 – 90)
Once you’re past the first month, you know if there is some degree of interest or chemistry. However, you still don’t know if there is enough compatibility to move past the friend zone.The idea for days 30 – 90 is to get to know each other far better than you can with small talk.
You’ll want to ask relationship questions that tell you if you’ve met someone you can potentially date on a serious level, or if you’re about to hit a dead end. Look for signs of compatibility such as similar temperaments, things you have in common and comparable expectations. More importantly, look for red flags that tell you to run like hell.
18. What do you like about me so far?
19. What is your religion, if any? How important is it to you?
20. What type of pet(s) do you have? Are there any types of pets that you dislike or prefer not to be around?
21. How interested are you in politics?
22. How often do you travel?
23. Do you have a lot of friends of the opposite sex?
24. Do you gamble? How much?
25. How many times have you been in love?
26. What are your pet peeves?
27. What are your goals for the future?
28. What qualities do you look for in a mate?
29. Are you a risk taker?
30. Do you like to cook? How often do you like to dine out?
31. What are you passionate about?
32. Do you have a criminal record?
33. When is it okay to physically harm the person you’re in a relationship with?
34. How do you feel about PDA?
35. What is your biggest fear?
Relationship Questions to Ask Your Lover (90 Days – 6 Months)
If you’ve dated someone for more than 3 months, there is a chance that things are starting to get somewhat serious. At this phase, you should both feel more comfortable opening up to each other. These relationship questions will help you to make the most of that.
Some of the questions below may have come up in conversations prior to the 90 day mark and that is great. But there is much more to learn. The goal of your relationship questions after the first 90 days is to spark some pretty significant conversations, thus opening the door to a more intimate connection. Try to get the answers out in the open before you’re involved so seriously that it’s hard to turn back.
Once again, look for compatibility as well as red flags.
36. How are you feeling about me/us so far?
37. If you could change one thing about me, what would it be?
38. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
39. How is your relationship with your mother? Father?
40. How do you handle anger?
41. Are you satisfied with where you are in life right now? Why? Why not?
42. What would your exes say they loved about you?
43. What would your exes say they couldn’t stand about you?
44. What are your beliefs on monogamy?
45. What are your views on gender roles in relationships?
46. What was your best relationship? What was so great about it? Why did it end?
47. What was your worst relationship? What was so bad about it? How long did it last?
48. Have you ever had your heart broken?
49. What does a healthy relationship look like to you?
50. What types of lessons have you learned from failed relationships?
51. How important is sex to you?
52. Do you get jealous easily?
53. Do you want to have children some day? How many?
I hope you’ve enjoyed this list of relationship questions to ask your lover. The next list will include questions to ask before you get married. Feel free to tell me what you think and to suggest other questions in the comment section below.