Do you know how to save your relationship from the wrong side of the increasingly dismal statistics that keep divorce courts busier than wedding chapels? It may be simpler than you think.
Most relationships start off in the clouds. Butterflies in your stomach, romance, fairy tale notions. But we all know that things can change when you least expect it. Building a healthy relationship and making it last takes planning, commitment and work. If you really want to save your relationship from unhappiness, breakup or divorce; implement these 10 tips on a consistent basis.
Ways to Save Your Relationship
- Respect the differences. A healthy relationship is a bond between two people who allow their individuality to remain intact. Remember this before setting demands and expectations that might seem reasonable to you but unfair to the one you love.
- Be gentle. Choose your words and actions carefully, remembering that the heart is fragile. This may help an apprehensive partner to feel safe enough to let down their guard. But don’t stop there. Their guard can go back up if you begin to take that vulnerability for granted.
- Take care of yourself. Once you’ve found that special someone who you expect to love you for life, don’t let yourself go. By always doing what it takes to look and feel good about yourself, you’re telling your partner that they deserve your best. Even more importantly, you keep your self-esteem high so that you are proud of yourself and not dependent upon the relationship for your sense of worth.
- Offer encouragement. Your relationship should be a safe space, even when everything seems wrong with the world. Make sure to provide this safety net for the one you love by encouraging the pursuit of dreams and successes that matter to him/her. A simple, “I believe in you,” goes a long way.
- Deal with your own demons. It’s much easier to focus on the changes your partner needs to make than to change yourself, but the latter is where your efforts are best spent. Choose to work through your own areas of improvement. By doing so, you take responsibility for your role in the relationship. You’ll also see how difficult change can be and you may feel more compassion for your partner’s struggles.
- Do more than you must do. A person who loves you may remain committed even if you don’t go the extra mile, but a truly healthy relationship is about more than just hanging in there. Show your love by going above and beyond what you absolutely must do in order to keep your mate.
- Ask more questions. When you’re having a difficult time relating to the one you love, ask questions rather than reacting based on the understanding (or lack thereof) that you have. In addition to gaining more insight on your partner’s perspective, you’ll show them that you care enough to try to understand.
- Practice acceptance. Many times in relationships, you face an obstacle that you just can’t change. Your partner may make a choice that you don’t agree with or s/he may lack interest in something that’s important to you. Rather than nagging or building resentment, practice the art of acceptance. A healthy relationship is not a perfect relationship because such a thing doesn’t exist. Take responsibility for accepting some things that you’d change in a perfect world.
- Assert yourself. Nothing worthwhile results from passive aggressive behavior like slamming doors, making sarcastic remarks and withholding sex. The same is true of aggressive behavior like demanding, judging and name calling. To save your relationship, you need to be able to communicate assertively. State the facts, own your feelings and focus on the behavior rather than the person.
- Create a vision board. Vision boards are usually used to plan for career success, weight loss or financial gain; but they are just as powerful as a tool for achieving your relationship goals. Consider creating one together and reviewing it everyday so that you know where you’re going as a couple.
Which of these tips have you (or will you) use to save your relationship? Would you say that you have a healthy relationship? Why or why not? Please respond in the comment box below.
