What to Do When You Love Him, but He Does Not Love You

If you are suffering from unrequited love or feel like he just doesn’t love you. If you want to stop the hurt and just get on with your life or even want to make him love you as much as you love him, then read on, this article can help. First, it is important to understand something about the male psychology known as “hero’s instinct.” This is a primal instinct that most men have and it impacts how they feel and respond to romantic partners. When a woman can learn to trigger this instinct in a man, he can feel extreme love and attraction toward her. This can lead to the man pursuing the woman with intensity. When this is triggered, deeply-held feelings like power, self-love, and purpose flood the guy. He will be drawn to any woman that can make him feel this way. This may be enough to transform a relationship for you, but this article will get you through the tough times so you can be emotionally prepared for whatever comes next.

According to research, the majority of people have suffered unrequited love at some point in their lives. This makes it important to discuss the pain that comes with this feeling. Too often we hear of the fairytale like love that is perfect and mystical. While love can be joyous and fantastic, if you love someone who does not love you back then it is simply sad. This article will help you know what to do to handle this type of rejection the right way.

Decide Whether Action is Warranted

Unrequited love can happen to anyone at any time whether a relationship exists or not. It all hurts in the same way. When you find yourself in a situation where you love someone, but it is not returned the first step depends on the status of the relationship. If you are in a relationship, talk to the person who is not returning the loving feelings. This communication will help you figure out what is going on between you as a couple and if the love really is unrequited. If it is, then do not settle for a loveless relationship. Before you decide to just pack it in and leave, seek outside help to make sure it is not another issue disguised as unrequited love. A family friend, counselor, or other professional can often help. If it is unrequited love, it may be best to walk away to prevent further hurt down the line.

If you are just dating and facing unrequited love, then it is best not to form a relationship with the person. Being in a formal relationship is not going to change the other person’s feelings. You deserve better, so let go and move on to someone who can truly show you love. Having to leave a relationship or leaving someone you are dating because of unrequited love hurts. You may end up disheartened, rejected, and suffer low self-esteem. Keep reading to learn how to pick yourself up and live better without that person. It can get better if you are willing to try.

Distance Yourself

Taking time away from the one who hurt you is the first big step in healing. It can also put a stop to any nasty texts or unnecessary arguments. Ask for some space and take it. If they have any respect for you, they will leave you to work through your feelings. In today’s social media rich world it is best to unfriend or block this person so you are not tempted to continually check their profile or virtually stalk them. If you are worried about texting or calling, delete their number so you are no longer tempted. If you worry any of these things will be offensive to the other person, try sending a civil message and explaining it is for you to get the space and distance you need, even if it ends up being temporary.

Recognize and Accept Your Pain

Be willing to ask yourself how you feel both physically and emotionally. Emotional pain can manifest in the mind and body, often like a punch in the gut. If you have this type of pain, recognize it as typical and accept it. Knowing the cause is half the battle because you realize many others have felt this way and survived, moving on to better things. Keep track of how you feel because strong rejection can trigger mental health problems. If you notice extreme or negative thoughts, like harming yourself, then get immediate help. This goes beyond the normal reaction and can mean depression.

Embrace the Sadness

You know the reaction levels that are normal, so embrace the sadness for a bit. Allow yourself time to be upset to get it out of your system. If you pretend things are okay, the emotions will eventually bubble up, so get it out of your system up front. While this does not mean you can grieve for weeks on end, ignoring real life, let the negativity out and then allow yourself to move on. Some helpful options are shared below:

  • Crying – If you feel like crying, cry. It can be cleansing.
  • Art – Use art as a way to soothe yourself. Try painting, writing, or music to get the emotions out.
  • Exercise – This is a great way to get anger and sadness out. Endorphins are released when active so you can feel better. If angry or frustrated, try a boxing class to get those feelings out.

Do a Clean Out

Once your head is clearer, clean out your psychical space as well. Anything that reminds you of your love should be removed. This can be anything from a stuffed toy to the photos on your phone. This is important to keep your mind from getting enmeshed again each time you see the items. This is a therapeutic process and it may lead to tears, but this is good. Say goodbye in your mind as you say goodbye to the items. Once the items are gone, bring yourself some happiness with something new. This is something small, not going on a reckless spending spree.

Keep Your Support System Close

Being a victim of unrequited love will leave your self-esteem low, but those who love and support you can be there to have your back. They can help build your confidence and show you the affection you need. Your heart needs a reminder that you are worthy of love and at times you may need a shoulder to dry on or someone to keep you from making a drunken phone call. Spend as much time as possible with these people and be willing to talk and listen to their stories about the same situation. This can open you up to new situations and learn to enjoy life again.

Start Saying Yes

You may not feel like it, but if friends and family ask you to go to dinner or join them for a holiday party, do it. Once you are willing to be more open, life will open up more as well. This does not mean you need to rush into a new romantic connection, but have fun while waiting for the right one to come along. Also be willing to try new things. Start a new hobby, try a new restaurant, or join a local charity group to put yourself out there and have some fun. This will fill your time and help you move on. Once your social life and work life are on an upward course you may realize you are not uncontrollably sad over someone who did not truly love you. Being busy will keep you occupied and help you realize the world does not stop when you are sad.

Get to Know and Love Yourself Better

After living so long for someone else, you have likely forgotten how to focus on yourself. You need to take time to appreciate yourself now more than ever before. Spend time focused on your own care. You may feel like you are not good enough for self-care, so force yourself to take time for self-care. Get to know yourself by working on personal development and figuring out what makes you truly happy. Knowing yourself well will actually help you move forward romantically because you will be more attractive to others. You deserve love and to know what you want.

Know You Deserve Love

Finally, and most importantly, know you deserve love, mutual, real love, from another person. You may have chosen wrong before, but once you are through that pain and emotion, you can view the relationship in a non-biased way. As you look back, you will likely see what you did not want to at first, he was not right for you. Look back just to learn from the relationship. You have grown from it in many ways and now new prospects can come your way.

Give yourself credit for taking control instead of staying in something one sided. Deep down you knew your worth and broke free, knowing you deserved so much more. Now that you have overcome that hurdle, pure romance can be opened up with someone new. Be proud of what you healed through and all you have learned. Your next love will not need to be questioned because you will know what you feel.

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