- You can lie about anything that would increase their insecurities
If you think whatever you are about to tell your partner will make their insecurities worse then you shouldn’t talk about it at all. Just keep it to yourself.
Montgomery says that “you shouldn’t increase their insecurities or shut down the weakness it takes for them to ask you about something they are self-conscious about.”
It’s better to positively answer a question or give a positive comment rather than giving negative comments that will intensify their insecurities.
- You are not attracted to their friends and family members
These are individuals who will be around your partner for quite a while. Although you need to love them as much as your partner does, you shouldn’t hate them either. You shouldn’t share your negative thoughts about their loved ones as this puts your partner in a dilemma.
- That you don’t fancy something they value so much
According to Montgomery, it’s not necessary to criticize or poke fun at your partner’s favorite things. The fact that you don’t love it doesn’t mean you have to make a big deal out of it. Just keep your feelings to yourself, it’s the best thing to do. Montgomery suggests that if maybe that particular thing is something that’s trying to harm you then try speaking to your partner about it.
- Comparing them with your previous partners.
Although we all compare our relationships, the best thing to do is keep your comparison to yourself. It won’t help if your partner keeps thinking that your past partner was better than them. Focus on your current relationship and not your past. You will hurt your partner and your connection will loosen if you keep comparing your current relationship with your past.
- You don’t know your family members and friends’ views about them
There is a likelihood of your friends and family members not liking your partner at first. Maybe your partner didn’t impress them or maybe your family members were not able to make an informed decision because they still don’t know them better. Despite all the reasons, letting your partner know your friends and family’s decision is not a good thing, especially if they tried their best to impress everyone. You will just hurt their feelings.
- Anything that’s not important to the relationship
It’s important to keep to yourself lies that are not relevant to the relationship. For example, there is no need for your partner to know that your ex was good in bed or even the number of people you had been intimate to before your current relationship. Such kind of things is just affecting your relationship. Unless whatever happened in the past has a potential of directly affecting your current relationship you need to talk to your partner about them.
- Anything that will hurt your partner’s feelings unnecessarily
It’s wrong to hurt your partner’s feelings for no reason. According to Herring, if something will hurt your partner, then you better not say it. Topics could have a major impact on your relationship. Telling something to your partner because they need to know is very different from telling your partner something because it will make you feel better.