When your partner messes up and cheats on you or causes you to have moral distrust, chances are you will question on if you should forgive them or if you should move on. You might feel betrayed and feel that things are not fair. You need to know that resolving the conflict is not easy and neither is forgiving.
There are emotions that will be involved when your partner betrays you and things have to be fixed from the ground up if they are going to work out. You need to ask if you should give them a second chance. Sometimes, second chances are okay while there are other times that you should never consider it.
Working it Out
If your partner is agreeing to work out the problems with you then you can learn to make things work together. This is a deep thing and when there are issues that are skin deep, you have to both be willing to work out the problems if you want to see them work out.
If you desire things to work out, there has to be mutual feelings because of the doubt and mistrust that comes with being betrayed. When you decide to forgive them, you will have to dig deep, and you will have to understand what caused things to go so wrong.
One great thing is that when there is a problem there is the ability to grow closer together.
Forgiveness
When someone cheats it does not mean that the relationship has to be over. There are always going to be mistakes and both people in the relationship can be part of the problem even though it is hard to see that.
As a betrayal happens, it is important for the partner to understand and to feel valued after it has happened. This is the hard part and things have to be addressed and not ignored.
When there are issues of cheating, the partner has to be able to resolve the problem. There has to be steps to healing and understanding as to why the problem came and what damage was caused.
It is important to understand why your partner acted a certain way and they need to apologize and not blame and realize how much you were hurt.
There has to be complete honesty and no more lying because trust is a process and has to be built back up.
Mistakes
If the problem is not always happening and it happens once, then you can figure out what went wrong and learn to work it out.
When it is out of character of your partner to hurt you, forgiveness will be easier.
Investment
When you and your partner have a lot invested in the relationship such as children or other things, it can be hard to throw it away.
This is a time when you need to figure out if you can work it out or go your separate way. Don’t throw it away without knowing.
Responsibility
Taking responsibility is a big step in healing and if your partner admits where the damage is and is willing to make changes to fix it, then this is a time to forgive.
If your partner is not apologetic and has no remorse, then chances are they are not committed to you and you might need to think about moving on.
No Communication
When you have miscommunications all the time and things are always happening, chances are you will not be able to heal.
You need to seek third party help and you need to make sure that you hear what your partner is saying to you and that you are able to resolve your problems.
When communication is a problem, you might need to consider if your relationship is worth it or not.
Losing your connection means that you will lose your intimacy and you need to have help. Having excessive behavior like drinking or oversharing information is hurtful and it will not work out the relationship.
Betrayal is Constant
Cheating is one big problem and it is what causes most couples to break up. When there is betrayal this is big and can hurt your self-esteem.
When your partner constantly cheats, it shows that they are not committed to you and they are not invested in the relationship. They have not learned to be true and they have no guilt to what they do wrong. This shows they do not deserve to keep having chances.
If there is no remorse, it will be hard to believe that their behavior is going to change.
Lying
When your partner is a chronic liar, you will not be able to have a healthy relationship with them. Trust is one dynamic that you have to depend on.
Having a partner that is constantly lying to you is a cause of deception and you need to figure out if the relationship is worth it.
Abuse
Do not go back to someone that is abusing you. You should never have to be with someone that abuses you and if it is happening then you need to move forward and not go back.
Learn to find healing and a relationship where you are respected and treated well.
Find people that will support you and help you get through your negative feelings and emotions but move on.
It is okay to come to a point where you no longer want to try and to move on. If you choose not to be committed after any of these things have happened that is okay.
You have a right to make a clean break and to find a new relationship. When you are dealing with your happiness, you need to have it and you have invested a lot of time in your relationship. Do not allow your relationship to be compromised and do not dismiss things that are hurtful.
Allow yourself to move forward. No two relationships are ever going to be the same and just because one did not work out does not mean you are destined to be alone.
