When you want to end a relationship, know that this is not an easy thing. Even if you have only dated someone for a little bit of time, ending a relationship can make you feel bad and can cause you to feel guilty or be afraid of what you are going to say.
Chances are that you will practice over and over what you are going to say and that you wish that the person would end the relationship with you first so that you could be off the hook. When this doesn’t happen and your partner is getting closer to you, you have to do something fast so you can move on.
Breaking up with someone that you are close to and have enjoyed being with can cause you to feel bad. If you told him that you loved him, this can make things worse. You will want to say the right things and make sure that you do not hurt him because you do not want to see him suffer.
You never want to say something that will make him hate you. Be careful what you consider saying and make sure that you leave the relationship on a positive note. Here are some ways you can do this:
- Know what you want and make sure that you want to break up. Do not break up with him just because you had a fight, or you want revenge. If you had a fight, give yourself time to cool off and make sure it is what you really want to do.
But if breaking up has been in your thoughts for some time, it might be a time to just be friends with your partner and end the relationship.
- Pick the right time and the right place to break up with your partner. Do not text them or ask them to break up over the phone. Even though you might consider breaking up on text because you don’t want to face them, know that this is childish and that your partner deserves better. The last thing that you want to do is to break up in a disrespectful way and end a relationship that has been in your heart for a long time. Find a quiet place to sit where there is privacy such as a restaurant and have a good conversation. Do not draw it out and be dramatic.
Make sure that you pick the right time and that you are not rushing to get back to work or because you have some place to be. You need to allow your partner a chance to talk and to process what happened and what went wrong.
- Make sure you have a good reason for the break up and that you aren’t just tired or hurt. If you are resenting something your partner said or you are mad about his ex, think this over and make sure you are not making a mistake. Do not give him a bunch of reasons that you are breaking up but keep it at like three or four things.
- Be honest as to why you want to end the relationship. When you break up, you need to make sure that you are being honest and that you are not lying to cause less pain. By being honest you have a chance to stay friends and you will feel better about yourself.
- Do not be overly kind about the break up but apologize and move on. If you are too kind, it will confuse him, and he will not understand if it is over or not. Never use the break up time as a chance to coach him on his next relationship, let him learn this on his own.
- Before you break up, make sure that you understand that your partner was vulnerable with you. He might feel like he is abandoned or did something wrong, especially if he has past trauma. Do not stress him out and tell him that you want to be friends and that you feel that this is the best decision that you are making.
- Be compassionate and respectful to your partner and let him have a say in what he wants. You might not like what he says to you but if you want to remain friends, allow him to speak. Do not be swayed or give in to the relationship if you want to end it, even if he is very attached to you. He might try to talk you out of breaking up with him but do not allow this to happen.
- Be thankful for him and the friendship that you and he have made. If you were intimate with him, know that you are connected at the soul and getting over each other can be hard. Be thankful for the qualities that he has and appreciate the goodness that he brought you. Be careful of his feelings when you end the relationship and move forward.