Forgive yourself

Being betrayed by someone you trust is the worst feeling ever.

Unfaithfulness, dishonesty, disloyalty and withholding are just some of the many forms that disloyalty is portrayed

Disloyalty doesn’t necessarily mean a relationship has come to an end regardless of the fact that relationships are very complicated.  In fact, a relationship is strengthened by just working through the disloyalty. If a relationship is to continue, the act of being able to forgive comes into play.

Although forgiveness is necessary to the process, it doesn’t guarantee the ability to move forward with the relationship. Whether a relationship can be salvaged wholly depends on whether trust can or can’t be regained.

Relationships are rarely ended because of trust. It is through relationships that your weaknesses which allows you to link up with another individual are portrayed. Individuals we decide to hang out can be trusted unless something comes up.

Trust is built as we progress to study someone. If this trust happens to be broken, then it’s us who loose and not just the other person. You don’t only question how it happens, but how you let it occur as well.

For a relationship to carry on, it’s important to restore truth, with the person and with yourself as well.

Below are guides on how to forgive and trust after you have been hurt:

  1. Self-forgiveness

This is a very crucial part of forgiveness. As we understand an event, we tend to create reasons as to why things transpired, regardless of them being irrational. Most of the time we have ourselves to blame. “if I were a better person in some way, maybe this wouldn’t have occurred. If I was less gullible I would have anticipated this” we think   that we might be able to prevent the flaw from recurring if we can get it and correct it.

Being able to forgive oneself needs self-compassion and an understanding that you are still worthy of proper treatment regardless of your mistakes and weaknesses. It is essential to understand the other individuals habit was his or her own making and doesn’t necessarily reflect what you are made of, but what they are made of.

  1. Forgive the other individual

It is only through having inner peace that you will be able to have authority over your emotional wellbeing which will make it possible for you to trust again. The reason most people struggle with forgiveness is as a result of the guilt of not letting go of the other individual’s negative habits. note that forgiveness is for your own wellbeing and the other individual shouldn’t be a concern.

Figuring out how to forgive and make peace with things that happened in the past can effectively happen when you pay less attention to the events that transpired and rather endeavor to see the point of view of the other individual. Seeing another person’s viewpoint can enable you to understand whatever happened and come into an agreement. When you consider an individual to be whole you can find it easy to forgive them. if you find your anger taking over, try to remember the good side of the other person.

  1. Self-trust

Unless you have self-trust, it is hard to trust somebody else. The greatest fear is experiencing disloyalty again after trusting someone. The shame and embarrassment of being betrayed again and the effect it would have on their self-esteem is not negligible. This is where the work needs to be done. Don’t worry as to why you wouldn’t be okay. Instead, know that you would be fine and still live a normal life without the other individual. If your like other people, you have undergone similar situations many times. Bring back the strengths that got you through those hard times.

People feel that if they do not leave they would be considered weak by the society. If you experience both emotional and physical abuse, leave and seek professional assistance. ,make  yourself understand that in the event that you will have to walk out of the relationship, you would still be ok and do so as a fully functioning person. If you find difficulty in trusting yourself this much, find a professional to guide you through your blind spots.

4.Believe in the other individual

The only guarantee is that there is no guarantee That’s the truth about believing in somebody else. When we believe in someone, there is faith portrayed.

After betrayal all you can do is review the situation and determine the future behavior of the individual. Is the individual remorseful?  Is there an indication of integrity on the side of the individual?

Was there a probable course for the disloyalty, or its just their character? Was it the first time it happened? Generally, does it look like the relationship has more positives than the negatives?

If the feedback to these is affirmative, the choice you have is to whether you accept the shortcomings of the other person and trust that they are bound to improve for the relationship to work.

Don’t forget there are no guarantees when it comes to other individuals. Only time will tell. Nevertheless, you will be unable to connect emotionally with an individual and make your relationship progress well if you withhold belief out fear or anger.

Relationships are key to our existence. Also without the bad encounters, we wouldn’t be able to appreciate the hard times. Working through a challenging relationship gives you the opportunity to grow as an individual and perhaps find a deeper meaning into the relationship itself.

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